The Wish List

Beberapa hari lalu saya menemukan wish list yang saya buat kira-kira 1,5 tahun lalu. Isinya, ya seperti namanya, adalah daftar keinginan dan goal yang ingin saya capai dari segi relationship, pekerjaan, dan ambisi2 pribadi lainnya.. Tanpa sadar, semua yang ada di dalamnya, Alhamdulillah, sudah dan akan tercapai tahun ini.

Saatnya buat yang baru. Dan sekarang, saya tambah percaya betapa besarnya kekuatan mimpi.

... and life goes on.

I just came back from a long vacation last Thursday. 6 weeks long. I came back quite discreetly, by this, I meant no cliche FB status saying "... is glad to be back home after a long vacation". Nobody didn't really know when I was coming back, except of course for my boyfriend and my parents. I wanted to be under the radar until I'm fully recovered from the jetlag, until I was ready to catch up with all the dramas and reality. But before that, I wanted to spend quality time with my bofriend, my parents, and course.. my cats.

But... my homecoming was not that discreet after all.

Friday, after a good 2 hour relaxing massage, I was shocked by text message saying that a friend had passed away that morning. The friend that broke the news told me to meet her at the parking lot of this place where we all used to work together. When I got there, under the tree where we all used to have our smoking breaks during the shifts, she said, "Welcome home". And just like that, I was reunited with 4 other friends at a funeral of our mutual good friend. It was a sad moment, but it was a good reunion. I was really good friends with two of them back in the days. We were quite inseparable, until one day we went to different paths, I will always love hem dearly. We talked a bit over dinner, and discovered that one was still doing her music, a newspaper column, a coffeeshop, a crafty shop, and a whole other bunch of stuff only God knows what, and I truly admire her for that. One was just recently engaged and moving to a Scandinavian country. And this last one happened when I was away!

Saturday was quality time with the boyfriend. On Sunday I discovered that 2 of my good friends (finally) hooked up, and, from story of both sides, looked like they hit it off, right after I left for my trip. This, was quite a shocking too, but a good one I must say. I was excited for them. But I guess (well of course)they were more excited, because it was all they talked about, and I hardly had the chance to tell them how fascinating my trip was.

Today I felt like I was finally ready to catch up with some friends. I was going to visit one that just had a baby just before I left, but she was not home. So I was back with my computer. Feeling a bit bored, suddenly I remembered some of my girlfriends was planning to throw a bachelorette party at the end of this month for a friend that is getting married in early June. So I called, but all I got was her voicemail. So I went back to my computer. And then I called a couple of more friends. They sounded excited I was back, and would ask, "so how was your tripppp?" but then as I opened my mouth to answer the question they were really occupied with the boyfriend, groceries and screaming nephews so they had to, "Wowww sounds good.. Listen, can i call you back in 5? I really can't talk right now". Well it has been a couple of hours now and none of them called back yet.

The moral of the story? Nothing, really. It was just suddenly I felt that time flies too fast. In a blink of an eye, people move on with their lives. With, or without you in it. People don't postpone their lives just because you're away. Especially for such a short period (which I initially thought was quite long..)

"Oh, you're away for vacation? Great, good for you. Have fun and have a good trip. Now can I move on with my life?"

"Ahhhh.. you're home noww? Great, good for you. How was it? Great, I bet. Wow. Now can I get back to my life?"

In a blink of an eye, I also have come to realized how small of group of friends that I have their phone numbers memorized to share my intimate traveling stories, because they're the ones that understand all the sentimental reasons behind this trip. And all of them, were not available tonight. And for first time in a loongggg time. I feel.. lonely.

Pembunuh VS Koruptor

Aduhhh saya tahu judul posting ini serius banget. Tapi seharian ini saya di rumah bersama ayah mengikuti perkembangan penyidikan Ketua KPK Non-Aktif Antasari Azhar (untuk selanjutnya mari kita sebut saja si AA), dan menghela napas berat saat statusnya berganti dari saksi menjadi tersangka.

Saya terus terang agak kecewa, karena tadinya cukup memandang si AA sebagai salah satu dari sedikit tokoh yang cukup 'lurus' di pemerintahan kita.

Tak lama ibu saya pulang dan bergabung dengan kami yang dari tadi memantengi berita ini di depan televisi. Ibu saya pun mengungkapkan kekecewaanya atas kasus yang menimpa si AA. "Karena nila setitik, rusak deh susu sebelanga", ibu mengutip peribahasa klasik.

Saya menghiburnya,

"Sudah lah ma, ayo ingat asas praduga tak bersalah. Kan belum ada vonis tetap. Belum tentu salah kok."

"Aduhhhh tapi tetap sajaaa.. Ingat tidak interviewnya di Kick Andy waktu itu? Dia tampak simpatik, family man, punya visi yang jelas dalam pemberantasan korupsi.. Masa sekarang begini? Gara2 cewe lagi.."

Ayah saya menyambar,

"Ahhh ya sudah.. Masih untung dia gak nyolong duit. Kamu tahu gak, duit yang dicolong koruptor yang sudah-sudah itu, bikin mati lebih banyak orang. Nah ini kan dia khilaf, dia main cewek, terus dia bunuh orang yang berusaha memerasnya. Ga ngerugiin banyak orang. Itu sih urusan pribadi dia aja."

Saya ga setuju.

"Loh pah, kok papa seolah-olah bilang pembunuh itu lebih baik dari koruptor. Mereka itu sama aja dong busuknya!"

"All I'm saying anakku, saya masih lebih bersimpati sama AA daripada koruptor-koruptor keparat itu. Kan seperti kamu bilang, kita harus tetap menganggapnya tidak bersalah kan sampai ada vonis tetap dari pengadilan?"

Saya tersenyum kecut. Tetap gak setuju kalau (tersangka) pembunuh dibandingkan dengan (tersangka) koruptor. Menurut saya dua2nya tidak ada yang lebih baik. Terlepas dari adanya asas praduga tak bersalah.

Ibu saya menimpali,

"Mama tetep ga percaya dia terlibat. Pasti ini konspirasi orang-orang yang gak suka sama dia."

"Ah kamu nih suka terbawa perasaan deh. Jangan terlalu sentimentil ah. Nanti kalau dia terbukti bersalah, kamu sedih lagi seperti waktu si Aa Gym kawin lagi."

Hahahahahhaha..

Kamipun beranjak dari ruang televisi. Mulai muak dengan pemberitaan si AA.